When my grandmother passed away I talked a lot about how her stories had defined a large part of who I am and how they would remain my compass. My grandfather was also someone with many stories and life lessons to share - and he was apt at telling them with a theatrical sense of humor. My mother's on going blog represents this in a wonderful way.
I have been told that among all the great
things that my grandfather did in life, not shockingly, he also made mistakes.
In fact he made many and some of them with consequences to others. At first
that was a very hard thing for me to hear- as I had in many respects placed him
on a pedestal. The reason being that my grandfather spent my life making me
feel like a literal diamond in the rough. He always lit up when I entered the
room as if a magnificent bright surprise had come into his life and after my
grandmother passed it felt sometimes as though he saw her in me.
As sad as it may sound- no one in the world
has ever lit up quite the same way upon seeing me. He accepted my every
decision no matter how far away it took me or how out of the realm of his
comprehension it was, he encouraged me as if there was no better path to take.
He trusted and loved me completely and we relished in each other’s experiences
and sense of humor. He taught me exactly what love should look like, what it
should feel like and most importantly what it means. I knew he worried and fretted
over the possibilities when faced with my fears or questions, but he swallowed
his own to lift me higher than I ever thought I could go, to make me bigger
than I ever thought I could be.
So though I enjoyed his stories and
treasure them as the most precious gift I shall ever posses, the greatest
lesson he leaves behind is that no matter the mistakes you make in life, no
matter the consequences of your choices or things you may regret, you only
exist by how you make others feel - and if you make even one person feel strong
and brave, precious and purely loved then that's enough. That's enough to make
up for any wrongs you may have committed or mistakes you may have made. Because
even one person is a greater success than many experiences in a life time .....
and though I am willing to bet he succeeded with many more than just me, I
am so happy to be proof of his love, his generosity and his life. He was my
hero, the kind that every girl should have. And the lose of him has left such a
whole in my heart I can never explain or hope to fill with anything but the
memory of our Sundays together. He taught me the bravery to forge ahead in
uncertain times and unfamiliar places; my grandmother remains my compass, but
my grandfather is my confidence.
I would like to close with this. When a
person is about to die in the Ismaili community the entire congregation recites
his name and Mah-F-Che to forgive that person of any wrongs they may have
ever committed toward them and thank them for being in their life. This allows
people to let go of the negativity they hold onto and remember people at their
best. It allows the person passing to leave this world free and those
they leave behind to feel free. I would like to ask that we take a moment of
silence to bow our heads and say this quietly to ourselves in memory of Peter
Warren Neufeld. To forgive him and thank him. Thank you.
~ Ashlee Conery
